Short Story: You Can’t Do That!

You Can’t Do That!

            “Home is where the heart is, so it follows you wherever you go. Unless you’re friends with Mola Ram… You can’t do that.” –Unknown

 

And…

You sure as shit can’t fry an eagle,

Make a coat from your pet beagle,

Fill up a semi without diesel,

Or

Steal a ring from Gollum/Smeagol.

 

“We like to say that nothing’s impossible. To anyone that says that, I dare you to jump out the closest window and fly right now… You can’t do that.” –Unknown

 

And…

You cannot go and cure amnesia,

Eat that family’s XL pizza,

Paint a beard on Mona Lisa,

Or

Pay Discover ‘stead of Visa.

 

“Do or do not, there is no try; tell that to those poor saps who failed their college finals… You can’t do that.” –Unknown

 

And…

You’ll never go two ways downhill,

Find no good deals at Goodwill,

Go to an opera that’s not shrill,

Or

Win at Smash Bros with no skill.

 

“Some people can fail 10,000 times and find success. But unless you’re Thomas Edison… You can’t do that. –Unknown

 

And…

You can’t turn a ribeye steak to fruit,

Jump from a plane without a chute,

Make a hairless fat cat cute,

Or

Say something more than “I am Groot.”

 

“If I had a million dollars, I’d solve world hunger! Yeah… You can’t do that.” –Unknown

 

And…

You can’t make an apple pie from pear,

Get a Seven-Ten Split spare,

Come to class in underwear,

Or

Do cocaine attending D.A.R.E.

 

 

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