Healthy Recipe – Chicken Meatballs

I like chicken. I like to EAT em. Now I know I mentioned that it’s perfectly fine to eat beef (just get the low fat kind, remember?), but I’ve been eating so much chicken lately I might actually prefer these. And they’re white, and white=healthy. Or at least, it looks like it. But probably the best part is that usually, chicken breast is quite a bit cheaper than low fat beef. Even the good kind. I use the hand-trimmed individually-packaged frozen chicken breasts from Costco which are about $2.70 per pound.

Get a Costco card.

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Homemade Almond Milk

Let’s get this out of the way: Yes, almonds can be milked. Not like cows. But by SCIENCE. By the end of the process, without really doing anything, the final product looks like milk. A strange Phenomenon.

Anyway, there’s a couple of things you need. If you read the Things to Buy post, you’ll know that I mentioned getting a Vitamix. If you don’t have one, a different, not as good high-powered blender will work, but you’ll need one that’s pretty powerful to chop the almonds.

stick-blender

Yeah, this won’t work.

All right, so this one is pretty simple.

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Follow the Cheddar Brick Road: Meal Planning

I feel like I might’ve posted that burgers post a tad prematurely. Yes, it’s a healthier version of burgers, but it’s still a pretty large meal. But that’s okay, because of the way the meals are set up, and since I forgot to mention it before, I’ll do it now.

Premature Burger

Premature Burger

Maybe you’ve heard the ancient secret to “eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper”? Don’t be coy, we all have. Well, turns out, the study that supposedly proved this was funded by Nestle, those objective people that want to sell more breakfast cereal.

Anyway, I won’t pretend to be an expert, since even experts disagree on everything remotely diety, like this one, and this one that are directly at odds. I can though, say what worked for me. And not eating after 6 wasn’t one of them since, well, I don’t go to bed before midnight. That’s a long time of no eating, and would relegate me to senior early bird specials. No thanks.

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Dieting expert consensus

I’m a little proud though. I know a lot of people that trade out their diet every few weeks and I’ve been trudging along for several years now, slowly modifying things that seemed to be halting progress. Like sugar. I try to eat under 20 grams a day. But on some really hot days, I wants an enormous Costco frozen yogurt (vanilla, the true flavor), so compromise, and share one with the wife. I don’t think it does much good to deny these things completely, (Especially not on holidays, Thanksgiving dieters are the foolest of fools) just don’t have them all the time.

All right, so back to the plan, what works for me is trying to have between 1800-2200 calories a day. That range for me, works. It doesn’t matter what the foods are that contribute to it, but macronutrient balance helps me for feeling full; more on that another time. It’s a decent amount, and I’m rarely hungry.

Peanut plate

Dieting meal of the day

Along with that, it doesn’t seem to matter when I eat either. I’m rarely hungry in the morning, so eat light. Lunch, same kind of thing. I like to have bigger dinners. That’s when I’m free, done with work and all that, so that’s when I eat. So meals like burgers are fine because it’s usually the only big meal of the day. If it’s someone’s birthday and I had cake, then a lighter dinner to make up for it. Simple. But in general, it’s worked to have burgers, pizza, tacos, etc. for dinner made in a healthier way, because that’s the only big meal I have.

And food is still a blessing, not a curse.

Holy ice cream

Burgers

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No burger for you!

 

So it should be clear now. I like burgers. I eat them a lot. In fact, at one point, this way of eating healthy became the burger diet. Seriously. Not just beef either. Salmon, Chicken, peanut butter, whatever. All burgers.

Anyway, for some reason, burgers are like the Demonic Grail of dieting. Friends, I’m here to tell you all; it’s a lie. All a lie!

Burgers True Form

Burgers to official “diets”

This one is remarkably simple. There’s a rumor going around that only fatty, low-percentage beef makes juicy burgers. For a burger to taste good, it can be no more than 80% lean. That’s like saying chard doesn’t taste good unless it’s 80% red. (It doesn’t; bad example)

I noticed in a lot of these examples, these false claims of burger juice, that they had a few things in common. By their cherry-picked stats, yes, they’re right. But I can fix that.

  • Use extra lean beef. Like 93%. Grind a steak if you want, it doesn’t matter. “But it’s so dry!” Hence, point 2, er, dot under this:
  • The patty has to be big. I eat half pound burgers. And I lose weight. “But isn’t that terrible? Half a pound?” Yeah, I guess. It’s the big boy on the restaurant menu. It depends on your size, but anything lower than 1/3 pound probably will be dry. But that’s okay, because a half pound of 93% beef has less calories than 73% beef. And protein helps you to feel full!
  • Supposing you’re still having trouble (or want McDonald’s size patties for some reason) add an egg to the mix. I have chickens, so I add eggs to most things, but maybe those white store ones work fine? First world problems.
  • Don’t overcook. If you’re one of those Cro-Magnons that shudder at the site of pink on the meat, might as well give up now… On life. These burgers are juicy if they aren’t overcooked=not charred black

And that’s it. Oh yeah, directions. This is for a clamshell grill, I use a small Cusinart from Costco:

  • Turn the grill on 325
  • Add seasonings, to taste. I use just salt and pepper. Simple.
  • Add a few drops of Worcestershire sauce
  • Toss some onions on the grill unless you’re one of those allergics or whatever that won’t eat them.
  • Cook for about 8 minutes, then open up and add cheese if you want. Muenster is good.
  • Stick on some lettuce or tomatoes or pickles or anything else that makes it look healthy.
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So cheesey

Then eat it! Burgers. I’d recommend Litehouse 1000 island for pseudo Mac sauce, or Portland ketchup for low-cal burgers if you’re lucky enough to have it around.

Don’t give up the pizza!

Normal dieting is a lot like this.

 

And it’s hard. As fat old TV personalities say, “I have to die from something!” and seeing what some people choose to eat on diets like a 32 oz smoothie for an entire day, I’ll take the premature scythe. As horrible as those fad diets are, they don’t really work, do they? Often, after a little while, they end up like this.

Be chubby or give up the point of living? Tough call. How about neither? Over the past five years I’ve developed ways to devour entire pizzas and still lose weight, no gel pills required. Don’t believe me? Fair enough. Yes, there’s a catch; it’s not as easy as going out to get a triple-all meat pizza hut with a size of cheesy bacon bread. The key is homemade, making these things with different, healthier ingredients. I have unlocked this incredible secret. And I am willing to share without even the cost of Handling fees.