Tom Loves to Ride

Tom and ________: A Ride to the Park

It was a pleasantly warm day. Sunny, but not hot. Tom loved these kinds of days the most, the kind of day that was too nice to stay indoors.

In fact, it was such a nice day that Tom thought he’d take a stroll to the park. The park! There were swing sets and slides and picnic tables and all kinds of fun. Tom had just made up his mind when he remembered what a drag it was to walk all the way to the park. If only he had a way to get there faster… Continue reading

Tom and _________: Best Friends for Never

Tom loved his mama.

Being the only animal in the house, Tom savored every morsel of attention he could snatch. Tom and Mama spent lots of time together. She let him curl up with him at nights. She took him out walking and to the beach. She even let him lick right off of the spoon.

Tom Mama

“Nom nom!”

Tom loved his mama.

But one day, his mama got a call. Rinnnnng rinnnnng! Rinnnnng rinnnnng! Rinnnnng rinnnnng! Tom never did like the ringer. Mama would ignore him when she was on the ringer. She’d push him away when he wanted attention. But he got used to it.

This time was different.

This time, Mama put down the ringer and Tom dashed over and rubbed against her. Puurrrrrrrr! But Mama still ignored him. He tried again. She still didn’t move. Tom hated the ringer! Finally, Tom stood up and stretched his paws up as high as he could and looked at her.

Mama picked him up.

“Tom, Mama just got the call she’s been waiting for! Mama’s going to be a real-live author!” Tom purred proudly. Mama’s persistence paid off! He knew how much this meant for her.

But then Mama looked sad.

“Mama’s gonna have to go away for awhile.” Tom’s ears fell back. “But don’t worry! Mama will make sure someone will come by and keep you company. Mama will be back in no time! You’ll just love auntie!”

The next day, Mama left. “Don’t forget about me!” She called out. As soon as Mama got in that yellow beast, Auntie stepped in the house and closed the door behind her.

Tom didn’t know what to think about Auntie. But when she started making chocolate cake, Tom’s favorite, he thought it wouldn’t be so bad.

He was wrong.

“Oh no, Auntie don’t let no cats in the kitchen! Get!”

Auntie Kitchen

“I said GET!”

Tom was surprised. Mama always let him in the kitchen. That night, Tom slept in the cat bed for the first time in his life.

The next day, Tom thought he would give Auntie another chance. Until they showed up. Auntie had her own friends. And they decided this was their house.

These monsters chased him.

Tom Bites

“Can’t we be friends?”

They bullied him.

Tom Attacked

“That hurts!”

And they wouldn’t let him play.

Tom Tennis

“Wanna play a game?” “Not with YOU!”

Tom didn’t know what to do. This had always been his house, but then these bullies…! It wasn’t fair! Why did he have to be bullied? Why did he have to do whatever they said?

 

Tom Dressup

“Dance in your little costume, DANCE!”

How could they be so mean? Why did they have to be in charge? Tom didn’t know what to do. Mama was gone. He didn’t have any friends.

Tom was lonely.

 

Tom Lonely

“If I could only have some friends…”

The monsters, they liked being in charge. It was fun. Tom didn’t know what it felt like. Was it really as fun as they made it seem? If only he had someone to tease…

That’s when he finally saw a friend.

 

Jerry and Nibbles Milk

“TWO of them?!”

 

 

The only problem?

 

 

No one else could.

 

Jerry and Nibbles (Gone)

“Why hello there… FRIENDS!”

 

Spam Can

Scam in the Spam Can

We all get scam emails, probably every day. And in the midst of winning foreign lotteries and lost royalty reaching out, there’s some real gems. While they’re trying to steal your credit cards, you identity, and even your dog, they might as well be a little more direct. They should try something like this instead:

From: <AmericanBanker911@hotmail.com>

Subject: Your Bank Account has Been Suspended

Dear Valued Member,

This email is to advise you that several invalid login attempts have been made at your online account at either US Bank, Bank of America, or Wells Fargo. To protect your privacy, the specific bank has not been identified and your account has been temporarily suspended.

In order for your account to be reactivated, please update your information by sending us the following information: Name of Institution, Username, Password, Mother’s Maiden Name, Name of First Pet, High School Mascot, and Model of First Car.

Your account is important to us. Please reply as quickly as possible so your account may be reinstated.

American Bankers Protection Union

Note: Attempting to log in to online banking before replying with verified account information will result in permanent termination of account and all funds within.

The Two-Tiered Train Trip Tautogram

The Two-Tiered Train Trip Tautogram

Timmy traveled through the train’s Trough. The train’s Trough took these troubled travelers to their terminus.

Tommy traveled through the train’s Top Tier. The train’s Top Tier took these tony travelers to their terminus.

 

 

Timmy thought the train trip traversed terribly. Terrible, terrible, terribly trite! Timmy thought. Timmy thought that the train’s tycoon treated these trembling travelers trimly.

Tommy thought the train trip traversed terrifically. Terrific, terrific, terrifically tip-top! Tommy thought. Tommy thought that the train’s tycoon treated these trusting travelers thrillingly. Continue reading

Some Six Word (or fewer) stories

So I was once told that Hemingway’s six word stories were extremely difficult. For anyone who hasn’t heard of these, the original is “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” There can be a lot said in so few words. So in that same spirit, I decided to come up with several of them myself:

He really believed he could fly.

Wow! That coffee really is hot!

Are you sure this is chicken?

Headline: Winning ticket sucked in shredder.

In the mirror, she saw nothing.

The switch flipped; the sizzle began.

No, that one’s the litter cake.

The cage should have been locked…

The map shows it’s right here!

Honey? Then who the hell’s this?

About Fluffy… Yeah…

Finally, an Armageddon prediction was right.

Don’t worry, our shampoo is gluten-free.

But… The TV… is unplugged…

Jane, I’m not your real mother.

Three… Weren’t there four before?

That wasn’t juice.

The cake is a lie.

Huh? Aren’t you my cable guy?

The real John wouldn’t do that!

Your flight has been delayed indefinitely.

Wanted: unlicensed gun, will return soon.

 

Hope you enjoyed! For more, there’s a site devoted to these: http://www.sixwordstories.net/